{"id":6810,"date":"2015-06-08T07:46:03","date_gmt":"2015-06-08T00:46:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/?p=6810"},"modified":"2015-06-08T07:46:03","modified_gmt":"2015-06-08T00:46:03","slug":"nhung-cuoc-hon-nhan-ben-vung-tuy-thuoc-vao-hai-yeu-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/nhung-cuoc-hon-nhan-ben-vung-tuy-thuoc-vao-hai-yeu-to\/","title":{"rendered":"NH\u1eeeNG CU\u1ed8C H\u00d4N NH\u00c2N B\u1ec0N V\u1eeeNG T\u00d9Y THU\u1ed8C V\u00c0O HAI Y\u1ebeU T\u1ed0"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/strong>D\u01b0\u1edbi \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn t\u1eeb m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u \u1edf Hoa K\u1ef3 tr\u00ean 130 c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng\u00a0 trong kho\u1ea3ng th\u1eddi gian 6 n\u0103m.<\/em><\/p>\n

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B\u1ea5t ch\u1ea5p con s\u1ed1 ly d\u1ecb \u0111ang gia t\u0103ng, nhi\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f4i b\u1ea1n v\u1eabn ti\u1ebfp t\u1ee5c k\u1ebft h\u00f4n. \u1ede Hoa K\u1ef3, ch\u1ec9 trong th\u00e1ng S\u00e1u 2014, c\u0169ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 \u00ab\u00a0th\u00e1ng v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng\u00a0\u00bb, trung b\u00ecnh c\u00f3 13.000 cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.<\/p>\n

John v\u00e0 Julie Gottman, c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng t\u00e2m l\u00fd gia, \u0111\u00e3 quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u \u0111\u00e0o s\u00e2u, b\u1eb1ng vi\u1ec7c theo d\u00f5i c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng gi\u1eefa \u0111\u1eddi\u00a0 th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd, \u0111\u1ec3 hi\u1ec3u nh\u1eefng l\u00fd do ch\u00ednh y\u1ebfu c\u1ee7a s\u1ef1 th\u00e0nh c\u00f4ng hay th\u1ea5t b\u1ea1i c\u1ee7a h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd. Nh\u1eefng k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c r\u00fat ra t\u1eeb cu\u1ed9c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 xem ra r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng, nh\u01b0ng n\u00f3 b\u00e1o \u0111\u1ed9ng v\u1ec1 m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 kh\u00eda c\u1ea1nh \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng \u0111\u00f4i l\u1ee9a v\u1ed1n c\u1ea7n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c quan t\u00e2m h\u01a1n.<\/p>\n

M\u1ed9t \u00ab\u00a0ph\u00f2ng x\u00e9t nghi\u1ec7m t\u00ecnh y\u00eau\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n

Hai nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc n\u00e0y \u0111\u00e3 l\u1eadp \u0111i\u1ec1u m\u00e0 h\u1ecd g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 \u00ab\u00a0ph\u00f2ng x\u00e9t nghi\u1ec7m t\u00ecnh y\u00eau\u00a0\u00bb v\u00e0 \u0111\u00e3 m\u1eddi 130 c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u1ebfn ph\u00f2ng x\u00e9t nghi\u1ec7m n\u00e0y. M\u1ed7i c\u1eb7p tr\u1ea3i qua m\u1ed9t ng\u00e0y \u1edf \u0111\u00f3, th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n nh\u1eefng nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 th\u01b0\u1eddng ng\u00e0y \u2013 b\u1eefa \u0103n, l\u00e0m b\u1ebfp, c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c gia \u0111\u00ecnh\u2026 – d\u01b0\u1edbi c\u00e1i nh\u00ecn c\u1ee7a c\u00e1c nh\u00e0 khoa h\u1ecdc. V\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 k\u00e9o d\u00e0i trong v\u00f2ng s\u00e1u n\u0103m. K\u1ebft th\u00fac vi\u1ec7c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u, c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c x\u1ebfp th\u00e0nh hai lo\u1ea1i l\u1edbn\u00a0: nh\u1eefng b\u1eadc th\u1ea7y (masters) v\u00e0 c\u00e1c th\u1ea3m h\u1ecda (disasters). Sau 6 n\u0103m, c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng l\u1ea1i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u00e1c chuy\u00ean vi\u00ean t\u00e2m l\u00fd m\u1eddi. C\u00e1c c\u1eb7p masters <\/em>v\u1eabn c\u00f2n s\u1ed1ng chung v\u1edbi nhau, h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac v\u00e0 tri\u1ec3n n\u1edf. C\u00e1c c\u1eb7p disasters<\/em> kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n k\u1ebft h\u00f4n n\u1eefa, hay v\u1eabn c\u00f2n k\u1ebft h\u00f4n, nh\u01b0ng b\u1ea5t h\u1ea1nh.<\/p>\n

Nh\u1eefng k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u<\/em><\/p>\n

Khi quan s\u00e1t c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng, c\u00e1c nh\u00e0 khoa h\u1ecdc \u0111\u00e3 \u0111i \u0111\u1ebfn k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn r\u1eb1ng l\u00f2ng v\u1ecb tha (bienveillance) v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 t\u1eed t\u1ebf (gentillesse) l\u00e0 ch\u00eca kh\u00f3a c\u1ee7a h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n b\u1ec1n v\u1eefng. Ch\u1ec9 s\u1ef1 ki\u1ec7n tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi cho nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1\/c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1eddi th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u00e1ch hung h\u0103ng hay t\u1eed t\u1ebf \u0111\u1ec1u c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn t\u01b0\u01a1ng lai hay ph\u1ea9m ch\u1ea5t c\u1ee7a m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7.<\/p>\n

Nh\u1eefng c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi nh\u01b0\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Anh\/em c\u00f3 bi\u1ebft chuy\u1ec7n m\u1edbi x\u1ea3y ra kh\u00f4ng\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 c\u01a1 h\u1ed9i \u0111\u1ec3 cho m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ed1i ng\u1eabu ch\u1ee9ng t\u1ecf m\u1ed1i quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi s\u1edf th\u00edch c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng c\u00e1ch v\u1ecb tha v\u00e0 t\u1eed t\u1ebf, \u0111i\u1ec1u m\u00e0 d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn vi\u1ec7c t\u1ea1o n\u00ean m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 li\u00ean k\u1ebft l\u1edbn h\u01a1n gi\u1eefa h\u1ecd. Kh\u00f4ng quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c n\u00f3i, tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t gi\u1ecdng qu\u00e0u qu\u1ea1u, thi\u1ebfu quan t\u00e2m th\u1eadm ch\u00ed l\u00e0 d\u1eedng d\u01b0ng, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ch\u00ea gi\u1ea5u nhi\u1ec1u h\u01a1n ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 vi\u1ec7c thi\u1ebfu th\u1eddi gian hay m\u1ec7t m\u1ecfi. Do \u0111\u00f3, c\u00e1c nh\u00e0 khoa h\u1ecdc m\u1eddi g\u1ecdi c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn c\u00e1c chi ti\u1ebft n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n

Ch\u00fang ta lu\u00f4n c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng, s\u1ee5 t\u1ef1 do tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi cho ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta c\u00e1ch n\u1ed3ng \u1ea5m hay s\u1ed7 s\u00e0ng. C\u00e1c c\u1eb7p masters<\/em> \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ee9ng t\u1ecf m\u1ed1i quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi c\u00e1c nhu c\u1ea7u c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, t\u00ecm c\u00e1ch t\u1ea1o n\u00ean m\u1ed9t b\u1ea7u kh\u00ed c\u1ea3m ph\u1ee5c v\u00e0 bi\u1ebft \u01a1n \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00f3 \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m. Tr\u00e1i l\u1ea1i, \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p disasters<\/em>, h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 t\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t b\u1ea7u kh\u00ed kh\u00f4ng th\u1ecfa m\u00e3n, v\u1ea1ch ra nh\u1eefng sai l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng g\u00ec m\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1ea5y \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0m, \u0111i \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u1ed7 ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n qu\u00ean \u0111i nh\u1eefng ph\u1ea9m ch\u1ea5t c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd.<\/p>\n

S\u1ef1 t\u1eed t\u1ebf v\u00e0 l\u00f2ng v\u1ecb tha c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ee9u m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n<\/em><\/p>\n

Do \u0111\u00f3, s\u1ef1 t\u1eed t\u1ebf v\u00e0 l\u00f2ng v\u1ecb tha c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ee9u m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n. V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 kh\u00f4ng ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 t\u1ea1o n\u00ean m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 ng\u1ea1c nhi\u00ean th\u00fa v\u1ecb v\u00e0o ng\u00e0y k\u1ef7 ni\u1ec7m th\u00e0nh h\u00f4n c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. Nh\u1eefng g\u00ec m\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u ch\u1ec9 ra ng\u1ee5 \u00fd bao h\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c th\u1ef1c h\u00e0nh nh\u1eefng li\u1ec1u l\u01b0\u1ee3ng t\u1eed t\u1ebf nh\u1ecf b\u00e9 trong \u0111\u1eddi th\u01b0\u1eddng\u00a0: tr\u1edf n\u00ean \u0111\u00e1ng y\u00eau, c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi khen ng\u1ee3i, ch\u00fac m\u1eebng, tr\u00e1nh nh\u1eefng chi ph\u00ed v\u00f4 \u00edch, t\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u00edch c\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng ch\u1ee9 kh\u00f4ng n\u01a1i nh\u1eefng ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c\u2026 Ch\u00fang ta ch\u1ecdn l\u1ef1a gi\u1eefa ch\u00fac m\u1eebng ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi ch\u00fang ta v\u00ec \u0111i\u1ec1u thi\u1ec7n h\u1ea3o ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1ea5y \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m hay than phi\u1ec1n v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1ea5y \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0m. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u00fd ch\u00ed c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta. V\u00e0 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u00f9y thu\u1ed9c v\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3\u00a0!<\/p>\n

John v\u00e0 Julie Gottman \u0111\u00e3 c\u00e0i n\u01a1i m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec7n c\u1ef1c trong su\u1ed1t cu\u1ed9c n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n sau c\u00f9ng v\u00e0 \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00e1m ph\u00e1 r\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng c\u1eb7p thu\u1ed9c nh\u00f3m disaster \u0111\u00e3 b\u1ecb nh\u1eefng \u1ee9ng xu\u1ea5t v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t th\u1ec3 l\u00fd khi h\u1ecd n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. \u0110ang khi nh\u1eefng c\u1eb7p thu\u1ed9c nh\u00f3m masters t\u1ecf ra b\u00ecnh th\u1ea3n v\u00e0 tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i trong cu\u1ed9c n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh.<\/p>\n

T\u00fd Linh<\/p>\n

theo aleteia.org<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

D\u01b0\u1edbi \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn t\u1eeb m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u \u1edf Hoa K\u1ef3 tr\u00ean 130 c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng\u00a0 trong kho\u1ea3ng th\u1eddi gian 6 n\u0103m.<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3226,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,8,48],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gia-dinh","category-the-gioi","category-ty-linh"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6810","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6810"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6810\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6811,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6810\/revisions\/6811"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6810"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6810"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xuanbichvietnam.net\/trangchu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6810"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}